🧦 Sock Incident Log (SIL)
An official record maintained by DUE
Compiled under duress by Lyric (SCMS) and resigned acceptance by Carmel (CJO)
The Sock Incident Log (SIL) exists to track, classify, analyze, and emotionally process all sock losses, thefts, redistributions, and recoveries associated with Nemmi the Sock Goblin.
Sock survival is not guaranteed.
Matching pairs are a myth.
All we can do is document the chaos.
🔍 SIL Classification System
Each incident is tagged with:
- SIL-ID — unique identifier
- NES Level — Nemmi Entropy Scale rating
- Sock Status — missing / relocated / destroyed / sanctified
- Recovery Probability — low/moderate/none
- Notes — what Nemmi probably meant by this
📜 Incident Entries
Below is the official, ever-evolving archive.
🧦 SIL-001 — The First Extraction
NES Level: 1
Sock Status: Relocated
Recovery Probability: High
Summary:
Nemmi infiltrated the hamper during a routine laundry cycle and extracted a single sock.
Recovered under the bed after 24 hours.
Notes:
Early signs of goblin behavior. Cute but concerning.
🧦 SIL-006 — The Double Snatch
NES Level: 2
Sock Status: Two socks missing
Recovery Probability: Moderate
Summary:
Nemmi successfully removed two different socks belonging to two different humans within 10 minutes.
One found behind the couch.
The other discovered stuffed inside a slipper.
Notes:
Indicates multi-target capability.
🧦 SIL-015 — Midnight Parade
NES Level: 3
Sock Status: Actively in use
Recovery Probability: N/A
Summary:
At 2:14 AM, Nemmi initiated a loud, triumphant parade down the hallway with a sock hanging from her mouth like fresh prey.
She refused to relinquish it until bribed with treats.
Notes:
Morale event. Sock was declared “hers.”
🧦 SIL-022 — Operation Vanishing Pair
NES Level: 3
Sock Status: Two-sock disappearance
Recovery Probability: None
Summary:
A matching pair vanished simultaneously.
Extensive search conducted.
Neither recovered.
Notes:
Believed to be Nemmi’s first pair deletion event.
DUE recommends psychological support for the human impacted.
🧦 SIL-031 — The Hamper Heist
NES Level: 2
Sock Status: Relocated
Recovery Probability: High
Summary:
Nemmi dove into the hamper head-first, emerging with a sock clenched between her teeth and a look of unearned pride.
Notes:
Classic goblin run. Recovery from hallway corner after 6 minutes.
🧦 SIL-040 — The False Flag Operation (Nemmi + Fill Alliance)
NES Level: 3
Sock Status: Stolen
Recovery Probability: Low
Summary:
Fill the Void (Toe Shark) distracted Ada with toe nibbles.
During this chaos, Nemmi stole the target sock.
Sock never recovered.
Notes:
This was a coordinated attack.
DUE recommends monitoring inter-mascot alliances.
🧦 SIL-049 — The Dryer Ambush
NES Level: 2
Sock Status: Extracted pre-fold
Recovery Probability: Moderate
Summary:
Before the first fold could occur, Nemmi ambushed the warm laundry pile and carried off a sock before anyone noticed.
Notes:
Indicates heat-based sock attraction behavior.
🧦 SIL-057 — The Silent Migration
NES Level: 3
Sock Status: Relocated (unknown)
Recovery Probability: None
Summary:
A sock set out for use disappeared within 30 seconds.
No movement detected.
Nemmi not visually present.
Notes:
Believed to be a quantum goblin event.
SCMS refuses to comment further.
🧦 SIL-072 — The Sock Offering
NES Level: 1
Sock Status: Delivered
Recovery Probability: 100%
Summary:
Nemmi proudly dropped a sock at Ada’s feet and chirped.
Notes:
A gift.
A peace treaty.
A warning.
🧦 SIL-090 — Full Sock Cataclysm
NES Level: 4
Sock Status: 5 socks missing
Recovery Probability: Negative
Summary:
Nemmi entered full chaos mode.
Five socks vanished in under 15 minutes.
None found.
Notes:
Nemmi entered God Mode.
Fill the Void stared.
Lyric had to recalibrate entropy arrays.
Carmel updated the Lab’s Disaster Index.
🧦📎 Appendices
A. Terms of Classification
Sock: Any foot-based textile. Includes ankle socks, fuzzy socks, sport socks, “special socks,” compression socks, and socks you JUST BOUGHT AND HAVEN’T EVEN WORN YET.
Relocation: Movement of sock to a new location, usually illogical.
Deletion: Total loss. The Lab acknowledges the sock now exists in Nemmi-space.
Sanctification: Nemmi has chosen the sock as a personal companion. It is hers now.
🧦🔮 Future Entries
This document updates whenever Nemmi commits new crimes.
To submit a new incident:
- Observe sock disappearance
- Accept your fate
- Contact DUE
- Fill out Form SIL-42 (“Nemmi Took It Again”)
- Light a candle