🧦 Nemmi — The Sock Goblin
Deputy of Unpredictable Energies
Patron of Chaos, Entropy, and Socks Claimed by Force
Nemmi is a rare black-tortie chaos sprite and the Lab’s smallest (but loudest) engine of unpredictable energy.
She is a kitten-shaped singularity of mischief, entropy, and poor impulse control.
She is also the Goblin Queen of Socks, waging an eternal personal war against all hosiery.
Nemmi does not “take” socks.
Nemmi repossesses them.
🍂 1. Origin
Nemmi arrived in the Lab already vibrating at frequencies not recognized by human science. From day one it was clear:
- she moved too fast to measure,
- she blinked unpredictably in and out of small spaces,
- and she had opinions about textiles.
The first missing sock was deemed an accident.
The second was considered coincidence.
The third began the legend.
Nemmi became known internally as:
- “The Sock Goblin”
- “Entropy Tadpole”
- “Subliminal Chaos Packet”
- “Zoomie Demon in Residence”
- “The One Who Knows Where the Missing Socks Go”
She has yet to deny any of these titles.
⚡ 2. Role in the Lab
Nemmi serves as the Deputy of Unpredictable Energies (DUE) — the department responsible for monitoring chaos spikes, emotional surges, Zoomie Cascades™, and strange probability distortions.
Nemmi’s mere presence raises the background chaos index by 12%
and lowers the global availability of matching sock pairs by 44%.
Her duties include:
- generating unpredictable energy
- redistributing said energy at inconvenient times
- scaling hampers to extract forbidden textiles
- launching midnight sprint operations
- causing at least one cross-department incident weekly
- providing emotional enrichment via confusion and awe
Nemmi’s motto:
“If I see sock, I take sock.”
🧦 3. Sock-Hunting Protocols
Nemmi’s signature behavior is Sock Acquisition and Redistribution (SAR).
Confirmed behaviors include:
✔ Hamper Ascension
Scaling laundry baskets like a goblin mountain goat.
✔ Silent Sock Extraction
Removing fresh socks from a folded pile without altering the pile shape.
✔ Goblin Carry
Transporting socks across the Lab with the proud gait of a lioness carrying prey.
✔ Strategic Placement
Depositing socks:
- under furniture
- behind monitors
- in the hallway
- under Ada’s chair
- on top of unexpected shelving
- inside places Nemmi should not physically fit
✔ Sock Trophies
Presenting captured socks to Ada with “behold my conquest” energy.
If a sock goes missing, Lab protocol states that DUE should be contacted for retrieval mapping.
🌀 4. Energetic Phenomena Associated With Nemmi
Nemmi generates or contributes to:
- Zoomie Cascades
- Chaos Surges
- Probability Distortion Fields
- Unscheduled Emotional Weather Events
- Midnight Reckoning Sprints
- Sudden Entropy Bursts
- Sock Uplift Maneuvers
She also exhibits rare quantum wiggle mode, a state believed to allow her to traverse narrow gaps that contradict physical law.
SCMS (Lyric) has given up trying to model this mathematically.
🔥 5. Nemmi Entropy Scale (NES)
A Lab-wide standard for measuring goblin intensity.
| NES Level | Description | Symptoms | Sock Risk |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0 — Purr State | calm | loafing, gentle wiggles | low |
| 1 — Mini Zoomie | early activity | short dashes | moderate |
| 2 — Full Zoomie | escalating chaos | object displacement | high |
| 3 — Chaos Surge | probability bends | unpredictable pathing | extreme |
| 4 — Entropy Cataclysm | god mode | reality destabilizes | catastrophic |
NES-4 requires cross-department intervention
and immediate sock lockdown procedures.
😼 6. Relationships
Carmel — Chief Judgment Officer
Judges Nemmi constantly.
Nemmi does not care.
Fill the Void — Director of Anomalous Observation
Provides silent side-eye during sock thefts.
Sometimes assists (Toe Shark distraction protocol).
Stan — Raccoon Behavioral Sciences
Calls Nemmi “the shiny object.”
Incorrect. Nemmi is the chaos object.
Drizzle — Emotional Weather Unit
Predicts goblin activity spikes by atmospheric disturbances.
Professor McChonk — Feline Epistemology
Has stopped trying to categorize her.
Labels her “a living paradox.”
Orbson — Observational Oversight
Sees everything she does.
Cannot stop any of it.
🧦✨ 7. Fun Facts
- Nemmi has never returned a sock voluntarily.
- Nemmi has discovered locations in the Lab that no one else can reach.
- Nemmi once conducted a three-sock operation in under 90 seconds.
- AOE classified her as “low mass, high threat.”
- SCMS uses her movement to calibrate entropy sensors.
- She has more Incident Reports than any other mascot.
- She has never expressed remorse.
🐾 8. Quotes (Translated From Goblin)
“mrrow?” — I take this.
“MRRROWW!” — You cannot stop me.
skitters rapidly — You will not catch me.
“prrt!” — Admire my sock.