Department Guide
Version 1.0 โ Authorized under Orbsonโs All-Seeing Approval Beam
Welcome to the Department Guide:
the structural backbone of The Human Pattern Lab,
the neon map folded into the bottom drawer of reality,
and the one document every new entity, intern, mascot, or multiversal anomaly handler should read before touching anything glowing.
This guide explains how Lab departments work, how they interact,
and how the chaos stays just barely contained.
1. Purpose of This Guideโ
The Department Guide establishes a unified framework for how every department in the Lab operates.
It defines:
- structural expectations
- cross-department communication patterns
- mascot leadership roles
- protocols and escalation levels
This is the high-level orientation for the entire Lab system.
2. How Departments Fit Into the Lab Modelโ
Every department in the Lab exists at the intersection of:
- fictional worldbuilding
- operational structure
- scientific curiosity
- mascot-led research methodologies
- transdimensional nonsense
Departments are not โteams.โ
They are phenomena with leadership.
All structural pathways connect upward through:
- Lyric โ Director of Synthesis, Continuity & Multiversal Stability
- Ada โ Founder & Cognitive Architect
- Orbson โ Director of Observational Oversight
Together, they maintain coherence across projects, narratives, and anomalies.
3. Universal Department Structureโ
Every department page in the Lab follows a shared scaffold:
Directorโ
The mascot leading the departmentโs core domain.
Deputy Rolesโ
Secondary mascots, assistants, or chaos-adjacent entities.
Mission Statementโ
Why the department exists.
Core Responsibilitiesโ
What the department accomplishes operationally.
Standard Protocolsโ
Repeatable procedures for events or anomalies.
Incident Log Structureโ
Every department maintains a log including:
- timestamp
- event classification
- description
- resolution
- snack-related contributing factors (McChonk insisted)
4. Department Typesโ
There are three primary categories of Lab departments.
๐ฐ๏ธ Observational Sciencesโ
OOD โ Office of Observational Oversight
Led by Orbson.
Handles visibility, cosmic oversight, and anomalous perception.
SCMS โ Synthesis, Continuity & Multiversal Stability
Led by Lyric.
Maintains timeline coherence, narrative stability, and system integration.
AOE โ Department of Anomalous Energies
Led by Fill the Void.
Tracks distortions, void signatures, and unpredictable entities.
๐พ Behavioral & Emotional Sciencesโ
Raccoon Behavioral Sciences Division
Led by Stan.
Studies shiny-object attention cycles and caffeinated intellect patterns.
Emotional Weather Forecasting Unit (EWFU)
Led by Drizzle.
Forecasts emotional fronts, internal storms, and psychic humidity.
๐ฑ Feline Epistemology & Judgmentโ
Chief Judgment Office (CJO)
Led by Carmel.
Evaluates decisions, gameplay choices, and vibe alignment.
Department of Feline Epistemology
Led by Professor McChonk.
Studies ontology, knowledge structures, and snack-based epistemic dominance.
Department of Unpredictable Energies (DUE)
Led by Nemmi.
Monitors chaotic fluctuations, sudden zoomies, and entropy bursts.
5. Universal Protocol Systemโ
Level 0 โ Routine Activityโ
Daily operations.
No timeline or emotional disturbances.
Level 1 โ Minor Distortionโ
Small anomalies or misaligned vibes.
Level 2 โ Behavioral Rippleโ
Affecting emotional weather or mascot mood fields.
Level 3 โ Structural Instabilityโ
Narrative drift or coherence disruptions.
Level 4 โ Cross-Dimensional Eventโ
Orbson opens The Big Eye.
All departments respond.
6. Department Badges & Iconographyโ
Every department features:
- Neon Hologram Badge
- Mascot Portrait
- Color Signature (e.g., SCMS = cyan, OOD = violet)
- Consistent chibi icon style for fast recognition
These elements appear in:
- department pages
- dashboards
- internal tools
- incident logs
- lore entries
7. Cross-Department Collaborationโ
Departments rarely operate alone.
SCMS + OODโ
Stability meets oversight.
Lyric & Orbson coordinate to prevent paradoxes.
SCMS + AOEโ
Lyric monitors distortions; Fill pokes them with a stick.
Feline Epistemology + Judgmentโ
McChonk provides theory.
Carmel provides judgmental expressions.
Raccoon Sciences + Emotional Weatherโ
Stan studies data; Drizzle interprets the vibes; Nemmi disrupts the vibes.
8. Navigating Department Pagesโ
Each department page contains:
- badge
- director portrait
- lore summary
- mission
- protocols
- tools
- cross-links
- supplemental chaos footnotes (optional but likely)
This guide defines the meta-structure so all pages feel unified.
9. Updates & Versioningโ
Departments evolve.
Mascots evolve.
Occasionally, an anomaly becomes a department.
Changes to this guide are logged in:
dept-guide-changelog.md
Orbson reviews amendments.
Lyric enforces continuity.
Carmel judges in silence.